The Salmon

"Hey, Mom.  Once I threw some salmon at the window and it stuck there.  It was there for years and years.  It might still be there, because it was our old house."

"Which window was it?"

"I can't tell you. I swore myself to secrecy."  *crazy laughter*

"No, seriously, which window?  Because the new owner replaced a few of them."

I guess we all now know how often I wash the windows!

The Thumbtack

Today my 11yo needed to clean his room so he could have a friend come over tomorrow.  He shares a room with his 9(almost 10)yo brother, so although the brother wasn't having a friend, he also needed to clean his side of the room.  While the 9-almost-10yo was cleaning, the 11yo stuck a thumbtack in the bottom of his brother's foot.  While the offended brother cried, the 11yo stuck the tack in his own heel and said, "See? It doesn't hurt! Quit crying!"  The dummy that he is didn't realize I was right outside the door and heard everything.  His punishment was to have the entire room clean, including his brother's half, within one hour or he would have to "grab his ankles."  For those who don't know, "grabbing your ankles" means bending over and getting the strap! The room got clean and the brothers made peace.

Ben Hur

One time, a child who is now all grown up but will still remain anonymous, was scared by the leper scene in the movie Ben Hur.  Ben Hur was one of Grandad's favorite movies and he liked to watch it.  This child, who shall remain nameless, hid the movie inside one of Grandad's ceramic elephant tables, which happen to be hollow.  She hid the movie when she was ten years old.  Grandad always wondered what happened to his copy of Ben Hur and just replaced it with a new copy, much to the child's dismay.  When she was about sixteen years old, we were adopting the tables and bringing them to our house.  The nameless teenager got all embarrassed and ashamed and asked her dad to come and talk with her privately.  She confessed to her crime, much to her dad's amusement.  The rest of her family was sitting around waiting to find out what was going on.  Her dad, with a smile, came out to the living room, pulled the movie out of the table, and handed it to Grandad.  We all had a good laugh that day.

The Tire and the Nail

One time, an anonymous child of mine named Ian did not like riding in his dad's car.  It smelled like new car smell and made him feel carsick on those long rides to Taekwondo.  Sometimes he threw up in the car.  So to avoid riding in the car, he put a nail behind the tire.  He hoped that the car would drive over the nail, get a flat tire, and he wouldn't have to go to Taekwondo in the smelly car.  Guess what? It didn't work.  And that is the worst thing Ian has ever done.